There are just over two months left of the school year and I’m just not sure how I feel about it. A mix of emotions have overcome me and it’s difficult to distinguish what I feel most.
Relief: the end is near. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We’re getting vaccinated… the guidelines are changing. It’s almost over.
Grief: I’m grieving for my first year of teaching that I always dreamt of. I’m grieving for my students and what they missed out on this year. I’m grieving for the state of education, how we view/ treat teachers and this country.
Excitement: I’m thrilled to see the end. My students have accomplished so much, as I have I alongside them. We’ve grown together, laughed together, and here we are at the last lap or two. The sun is up a little longer, the beach trip is a little closer, and lots of good is coming our way.
Sadness: I’m sad to say goodbye to my students- my first group of students who I love immensely. I’m sad to see the end of so many firsts. I’m sad that we missed out on so much this year. I’m sad that I’m not sure if I’ll see my students next year.
There are so many emotions- more than I’m willing to write or share about. And to be honest, probably more than I can even comprehend. This year has been full of so many different complexities it’s still hard to digest it all. The only thing I can say for sure is that I’m emotional and I can’t believe it’s almost over… although at the same time, the quickly approaching end seems like it took decades to arrive.
Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers March Slice a Day Challenge! I’m slicing every day this month. Thanks for stopping by
Oh my goodness! What a first year!! As I have told the new teachers I have walked beside this year, I really think you will be able to get through anything. This year has taken so much flexibility, adjustment, and strength. I can relate to all the feelings you shared. How nice it will be to go through a year with normal rhythms in the future. Light is coming!
(BTW, the way you structured your post today really helped to see this difficult situation from so many perspectives.)
Wow your first year! We have a couple of newbies in my building too, and wow, what a ride it has been for them. Yes it’s always a mixed bag of emotions, but I agree they are very varied this year!
Ride. The. Wave. Cheers to more pleasant emotions and better regulation in the fall. Thanks for sharing a vulnerable slice.