Toy vs. Tool

There was a day when a student of mine was struggling.

By struggling, I mean being incredibly disrespectful to myself and their peers. Using their body to splay themselves across the carpet so no one could sit. Would roll eyes when asked to move. Quick to use words as a weapon against others. Clearly just not themselves.

I got everyone started to write and I went over to the student privately.

Writing was their favorite time and they were just pushing the pen into the paper staring at me.

If looks could kill, I would have been a goner.

I got down to their eye level and asked in a whisper, “Hey are you okay?”

They responded by shouting at me, “I.WANT.TO.GO.HOME!”

Again, in calm soft voice I state, “That’s not an option right now. Let’s chat in the hall if you prefer.”

We walk out there. Well I walk, they stomp their feet, arms crossed, and PLUNK down on the bench.

“You don’t seem yourself today. Are you okay?” I ask.

“No! I want to go home!”

“Again, that’s not an option. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on so I can help. How can I support you at school today?”

“Let me go home!”

“You said you weren’t okay. Did something happen? Are you feeling okay?”

“No. I don’t feel well.” Admittedly, they did sound sick.

“That’s hard. Does your family know you don’t feel well?”

“Yes. They said I was fine enough to come to school.”

“Oh. Thats hard. It’s hard to be at school and work while you don’t feel well. But it sounds like we are staying today, so what can I do to help you while at school?”

“Well, you could give me a squishie.” The comment perked them up a bit.

“You mean like a squishie to squeeze as a tool or give you as a gift to keep?”

“To keep.”

“Well, I cannot give you a gift. But I can give you a tool to help.”

“Oh.” They sounded deflated as their shoulders drooped. I shared some options of tools I have to help. We settled on one.

“Is there anything else I can do to support you at school?”

“A gift would be nice. That would cheer me right up!”

“Again, I cannot give you a gift. But happy to grab you a tool.”

“Never mind,” they replied as they stalked back into the classroom.

It was 8:30 in the morning, I could tell it was going to be a long day.