Change

Change can be really hard.

It’s not easy to go from what you know to something totally different.

There is an actual name for this…and it’s been around for a while.

Cognitive dissonance- when your pre-existing knowledge conflicts with new knowledge.

This is a tough spot for a lot of people. You might live here for awhile, conflicted about how to feel about the new information, but it’s hard to see the old information the same now!

What you do with it is what matters.

You can ignore it. Pretend like you never saw the new information and not change a thing. Remain with the status quo. Be stagnant. not very exciting, nor is it helping you grow. You might feel more comfortable this way, but you cannot guarantee everyone else is going to ignore the new information. You might feel lost over time, or left out, or even angry. “Why doesn’t anyone think that way?” “Why doesn’t anyone see it this way?” “What’s wrong with how it was?!” This can be tough- you feel like you are constantly defending yourself. It’s exhausting.

OR

You can ignore the old information and just go with the new. New is always better, right?! Hmm…this is also tough. First of all, it’s nearly impossible to just forget everything you have known. It will keep bubbling back up and you will spend so much time pushing it down that you will feel exhausted. It’s also confusing because you feel that everything up until this new point has been a lie, or wrong. You start to blame yourself or others. This can feel lonely, frustrating, and sad.

OR

You can take that new information and let it permeate the old. Let them weave together- push and pull until you come out with a whole new perspective and understanding that reflects both the old and the new. It’s challenging, but it’s affirming. What you knew wasn’t bad, it was just different. Now you know differently and you think differently, too. This is called growth.

Growth is challenging and exhausting because every individual has to make this choice. You don’t get to control when other people get information or knowledge and you most certainly don’t get to control what they decide to do either. There are three doors- you choose one of them. This can feel frustrating at times- waiting for others, or you might feel anger or disappointment if they make a different choice.

So it’s hard having cognitive dissonance. No one said this stuff would be easy, but growing up isn’t easy either.