Day 30 A Slice of Sorrow
We lost our dad one year ago today. It’s hard not to think of those last few days and how incredibly hard they were. Although he did not die from Covid, Covid made his dying infinitely more complicated. I wasn’t allowed in the hospital until his status changed to hospice/terminal (at which point he was nonverbal). My sister couldn’t fly in to say goodbye. My sons couldn’t fly or drive in to say goodbye either. Instead I sat by his side (and I was lucky I got to do even that) holding the phone to his ear as people said their goodbyes. So. Hard.
The days after that were complicated, too. The “funeral” consisted of more staff than mourners. We facetimed during the funeral and the grave site mini-service. No food. No hugs. No shared stories. No going through his things, touching, laughing, crying and remembering as you do so. We picked up all his items that the staff at his assisted-living facility packed up and left on the back dock for us.
It’s hung with me all day.
And that’s how it should be. We who are left remember those who are gone. We are how they live on, in our hearts, our memories and the lessons we learned from them. I know this. I believe this.
And yet, it’s hard.
Thanks for sitting with me and “listening”. I needed to write this today.
#SOLSC21
Teachers Write 
May his memory continue to be a blessing to you and yours. I cannot imagine going through a parent’s death in a covid world; it is impossible enough.
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I am happy to have listened to your words today. Thank you for sharing. I am glad you have this space to do that. My heart is with you.
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Covid has added so much sorrow to our world. You are right about remembering. May your heart be comforted with memories today and every day.
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The death of a parent is hard but during a pandemic it’s even harder I’m sure. I’m glad you at least got to be there. A friend lost her mom the first week of lockdown and no one was there. Her mom knew going to the hospital would mean being alone at the end. So many hard things about this last year. Thanks for sharing and hugs for you.
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Big hugs to you today. Your story touched my heart.
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This is a hard memory – and I am so glad you shared it here. You are right about how we are left to remember – and I hope that your memories are a blessing. Thinking of you and holding you and your family in the light as you remember.
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The one year anniversary is such a difficult and painful day. “We are how they live on, in our hearts, our memories and the lessons we learned from them.” That is really beautiful. And true. Sending positive thoughts to you, Linda.
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This is such a meaningful and important slice. This year has been hard on so many and it sounds like it was extra difficult for you. I’m sorry for that. I felt strong emotions coming from your writing and I hope it helped you process at least a little. Thank you for sharing something so personal.
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I can’t even imagine. Thank you for sharing all the details made difficult due to Covid. I found this line powerful: We are how they live on. I hope you keep writing aobut your dad to allow him to live on through those slices. I am so sorry for your loss.
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I’m so sorry! Anniversaries are difficult! Ruth, thereisnosuchthingasagodforsakentown.blogspot.com
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Thank you for sharing your memory. It has really hit home. Thinking of you.
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